A Date, Larry and the Issue of GBB

Two weeks ago, I accompanied a friend to a mixer her company was having. She'd just started work for this particular company and didn't want to go alone. She pleaded and begged me to go with her. I was done with finals and was too bored to say no. Plus, I'd never been to the lounge where the mixer was taking place and I wanted to check it out.

So, there we were, mingling and networking with a cross-section of corporate America. It was fun - that is, until my friend quietly snuck off in the middle of a conversation we were having with two of her co-workers. Soon, her co-workers - who I'd run out of things to talk about with - decided it was late and headed home. In an instant, I was by myself, holding a vodka tonic in my hand, looking like quite the loser. I panicked and looked across the room. My USELESS friend was in a corner of the lounge, grinning from ear to ear and laughing flirtatiously with some TSMIAS - tall, sexy morafogger in a suit. What is it about men in suits? Tres Sex-ay! I looked at her, waiting for her to see me. When she did, I glared. She smiled apologetically from across the room, and continued talking to TSMIAS, like I - the friend who had been gracious enough to take time out of her busy schedule (ok, so my schedule was in fact filled with a lot of free time at this point but whatever!) and hold her hand to this event -DID NOT EXIST! It's not her fault!

There I was, alone, panicking. What would Carrie do? This is the question I ask myself whenever I'm in sticky situations like the one I was currently in. Sometimes it works. Most times, it doesn't. In my head, I'm thinking: Is there a Sex and the City episode in which Carrie was left to fend for herself while at a social event where she didn't know anyone? I can't remember any. Think think. Drift, casually, to a group of people and join in their conversation. No no. I couldn't do that. Look confident. Sway to the music - act like you appreciate the sort of jazz the DJ's playing. Ok, this is working. Continue swaying. Too much swaying. Be subtle. Ok, this might be working. Oh who am I kidding? This is awkward. I'M SO OUTTA HERE!

"What are we drinking?"

I turned in the direction of the voice. Ah ha! Another TSMIAS! Wot wot! Dang - and he fooooiiinne! Plus he smelled good!
I smile - a big toothy thank-you-for-saving-my-life smile.
"Vodka Tonic"

Goodness, what is this smell? It's delicious!

He gets me another glass and we get to talking. He was a management consultant. I'm thinking, hmmn, brotha has a job and does not live with his momma - ok nice. He dropped a hint about being single. Nice nice. He was funny - sarcastic, dry-humor. Easy to talk to. Nice nice nice nice NICE! He asked for my number. I practically gave it to him before he finished asking. I went home - giddy from the mix of his yummy smell and too much vodka tonic in my system.

Well, my TSMIAS was a morafogger indeed. He never called! The little shit! Life went on as usual. My mindset switched back to the all-men-are-trifling-beasts mode.

This past Sunday, however, he did call. He apologised profusely about not calling before. He'd been busy (BS! Never a valid excuse). He was free Tuesday night (yesterday). He asked if I liked sushi.

That is how I found myself at a cozy, sushi restaurant/bar yesterday, Yes, I was at dinner with my TSMIAS. Not a date - dinner! I'm still not looking to be in any relationship of any sort at the moment so let's call it a dinner between potential friends...(Lol, who'ma kiddin?!)

Larry (that's what we'll call my TSMIAS from now on as he was not wearing a suit at the sushi dinner) was charming, not suprisingly. Still funny. Still sarcastic. There were no awkward silences, thank heavens! He had a swagger that was void of irritating egotism. Seemed like we had so much to talk about. And he still smelled delicious! Gaddamn!! In my head, I was getting a little ahead of myself - We would make such a good couple. Our wedding will be spectacular. I wonder if we'll have it here or in Naija seeing as he's from here. Hmmn. Oh, and our babies will be gorgeous. I think I'll name the girl Lola- I've always loved that name. Then maybe her middle name could be his mom's first name? I'm sure he'd like that. What about the boy? I've always liked Brad. Hell no - my mum will kill me first before she lets me name her grandson Brad. Hmmn - maybe we'll compromise and I'll give Brad a Nigerian middle name. Hmmn...How many children sef? I think three's good. Yeah, three's perfect...

"T and I had mad fun last summer. We went sky-diving"

Back to the conversation and reality. Larry was talking about T, his BB - Bestest Bud. They'd known each other since middle school.

"Men, can't wait for you guys to meet. You'd love her. She's a trip!"

Her? She? WHAT?!

"T's a she?"
"Yeah, T's short for Tori"
"Ooooh I see"

The wedding was SO off! And he can forget about Brad and Yvonne! I will NOT be having those babies with his "my-bestest-bud-in-the-whole-wide-world-is-a-girl" sorry ass, thank you very much!

You see, I don't do guys who happen to have best friends of the female sex. Been there, done that. Always a messy situation. I don't care if you claim that the relationship is purely platonic. Yes, if the relationship is indeed "platonic" then, I am homewrecker and worldsaver extraordinaire, Angelina Jolie! I also don't care if you are not attracted to her in any way. I DON'T BUY IT!

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm talking from experience. It's a tricky situation. I cannot stand the girl-best-bud scenario. GBBs are always very possessive of the male subject they're best buds with. Very annoying! Plus, they feel the need to be overly friendly to you, the male subject's current girlfriend. Biotch, I don't know you like dat! Then you, the current girlfriend have to act like you like GBB and are not in any way threatened by her. There are the fake smiles and even faker conversations between the two of you when you bump into each other at parties. Then there's the unending competition to prove who knows the male subject better. This is a typical conversation between a GBB and CandyS:

GBB: MS loves Japanese food. You should take him to this Japanese restaurant for his birthday. He'd love that!
Biotch, who asked for your opinion?
CandyS: smiling sweetly (a little too sweetly) : Oh really? Well, HE told ME, while we were cuddling yesterday and whispering sweet nothings into each others ears, that he actually prefers thai food so I think I'll take him to a thai place. Thanks for the suggestion though.
GBB: Gurl, anytime!
I am not your gurl!

You know what I mean? Why oh why did Larry have one of those awful GBBs? WHY?! And we were getting along so well before he dropped that bomb. Of course I didn't say anything. I let Larry continue running his mouth about T and how I'd love her. What a fool! I already hated her and we were yet to meet.

Dinner was good though. I loved the decor of the sushi place. I loved the sushi even more (I know I know, I'm supposed to be on a low-carb diet. It's ok to cheat every now and then. Lol!). Larry dropped me off at my apartment. He didn't ask me over to his place to come over and chill for a bit. Guys I've dated in the past always ask on the first date and the answer's always a firm NO! What do you mean by "chill"? Nonsense! So, Larry gets a plus for that but a minus for GBB.

The thing is, I think I like Larry. This is the first date (I mean dinner) I've been on in a very long time that I didn't leave with a mediocre taste in my mouth. It was great, if we forget about the GBB-bomb incident for a minute. I know it's too soon to know for sure but so far, I like what I'm seeing. Maybe his smell has hypnotized me. What in the world was he wearing? Dang it smelled good!

WorldWideWoman blog, can I tell you a little secret? It's cringe-worthy. Promise not to tell anyone? Well, after the date yesterday, CandyS was feeling a lil mushy inside which, just so you know, is SO unlike her after a first date. CandyS fell asleep listening to Corinne Bailey Rae's "Trouble Sleeping" on repeat. CandyS might be falling for someone she JUST met. CandyS can be such a loser sometimes.